Another Day, Same Brain

I wake up with my heart already tired,
like it worked the night shift
without clocking out.

The mirror and I have a complicated relationship.
Some days it says you’re fine,
other days it says
you’re the before picture. 

I drink coffee like it’s medicine.
Scroll through other people’s happiness
like it’s a museum.
Everyone is glowing in soft lighting
and I’m fluorescent at best.

My phone knows too much about me.
Knows I pause too long
on pictures of girls who look effortless,
girls who say “just vibes”
like anxiety isn’t sitting next to them
on the couch.

If I could swap lives for a day
like the movies
I’d choose someone who sleeps eight hours,
someone who walks into rooms
like they belong to them.

But maybe she’d wake up in my body
and realize the truth:
that surviving yourself
is a full-time job,
and some mornings
getting dressed is the bravest thing
you do.

So I lace my shoes,
step outside,
pretend the sun rose
just for me.

And honestly
that lie gets me through the day.

I also wanted to add on to the Ethnographic Methods at Work class, I really enjoy being able to be divded in small little groups and being able to talk about problems in today’s society. Too able to listen and see what opinions my classmates have to say,what point of view they have,listen to experinces that in one way or the other connects our lives at somepoint. I like how we can express ourselves and learn about the world’s problem and find a way to fix it or to give ideas and encourage others that just because you had a set back it means to just give up,no instead that we should be able to take a deep breath and get up and try again.